Get Off the Unicorn Read online

  Get Off

  the Unicorn

  Anne McCaffrey

  A Del Rey® Book

  BALLANTINE BOOKS • NEW YORK

  Contents

  Title Page

  Dedication

  Acknowledgements

  Introduction

  Author’s Preface to Lady in the Tower and A Meeting of Minds

  Lady in the Tower

  A Meeting of Minds

  Author’s Preface to Daughter, Dull Drums and Changeling

  Daughter

  Dull Drums

  Changeling

  Author’s Preface to Weather on Welladay

  Weather on Welladay

  Author’s Preface to The Thorns of Barevi, Horse from a Different Sea and The Great Canine Chorus

  The Thorns of Barevi

  Horse from a Different Sea

  The Great Canine Chorus

  Author’s Preface to Finder’s Keeper, A Proper Santa Claus and The Smallest Dragonboy

  Finder’s Keeper

  A Proper Santa Claus

  The Smallest Dragonboy

  Author’s Preface to Apple

  Apple

  Author’s Preface to Honeymoon

  Honeymoon

  Books by Anne McCaffrey

  Oh To Be A Dragonrider

  To learn more about other great Ballantine Books . . .

  Copyright

  This book goes, with love,

  to my other sons and daughters,

  to Derval, Anto, Ann, Orla & Lian, Hilary,

  Weasel, Mary Pitz, Penny, Kim and Eamonn (Gary),

  Alan, Rickie, Anders, Geoffrey and David

  who keep my house ringing with laughter

  and music and who keep me . . . young!

  Introduction

  MOST OF YOU kind people who are buying this volume will have done so because of the author’s name on the cover. I say this with due modesty because, Gentle Reader, you would certainly not choose to buy a book of short stories unless you liked other work by the author.

  The title of this collection, although it fits most of the stories if you know the old tale about unicorn-bait, comes from a misprint in the Ballantine roster of unfilled contracts. Someone kept asking my long-suffering editor, Judy-Lynn del Rey, what was this book called Get Off the Unicorn. (The working title had been Get Of the Unicorn, provocative enough originally.) So, Judy-Lynn asked me what I could do about that theme.

  As an author I have been extremely fortunate in finding several themes and characters that have been well received: the Dragons of Pern, Helva, my Ship who Sings, the Parapsychic and the Crystal Singer yarns. I tend to write in broad tapestries and get caught up in the lives of my heroines and heroes, not to mention the fantastical creatures, and go on, and on, and on. Sometimes it is extremely difficult for me to write short or concise. That can be a great handicap. But those rather short stories I have managed to write are included in this volume. There are also several coupled yarns of ideas that did not ever generate enough impetus to make a novel. I’ll explain as I go along.

  “Lady in the Tower” and “A Meeting of Minds” are really logical extensions of the concept found in “To Ride Pegasus,” in which parapsychic powers are combined with machines in a gestalt that gives the mind enough power to reach the stars. They both predate Dai op Owen and the Eastern Parapsychic Center.

  “Lady” is the story I prefer to acknowledge as my first; it appeared in the Magazine of Fantasy and Science Fiction in April 1959, in the distinguished company of Daniel Keyes’ “Flowers for Algernon.” Algis Budrys was a reader for Bob Mills at the time and he brought the story to Bob’s notice. They both felt that it needed some reworking and asked my permission, which, needless to say, I immediately and ecstatically gave. (Someone wanted to publish a story of mine? Leap, grab, say YES!) I don’t remember all the changes Algis made, and I’ve made a few myself with the wisdom and expertise of twenty years of writing and publishing. But basically, it’s the same story.

  Ten years later, “A Meeting of Minds” was published by Ed Ferman, the new editor of Fantasy and Science Fiction. I have also done a good deal of rewriting on it, since that story had appeared so long after its parent story.

  Both are unashamed love stories. That’s what I do best: combining either science fact or fantasy with heterogenous inter-reaction.

  These two stories were supposed to be part of a novel I’d tentatively entitled The Bitter Tower. But, when I got started on the story “A Womanly Talent,” I got involved with Dai op Owen and wrote the four stories which comprise To Ride Pegasus. So these two stories never became part of a novel. But the Raven women are good strong characters, and who knows when I’ll write about that third generation of Ravens.

  Lady in the Tower

  WHEN THE ROWAN came storming toward the station, its personnel mentally and literally ducked. Mentally, because she was apt to forget to shield. Literally, because the Rowan was prone to slamming around desks and filing cabinets when she got upset. Today, however, she was in fair command of herself and merely stamped up the stairs into the tower. A vague rumble of noisy thoughts tossed around the first floor of the station for a few minutes, but the computer and analogue men ignored the depressing effects with the gratitude of those saved from greater disaster.

  From the residue of her passage, Brian Ackerman, the stationmaster, caught the impression of intense purple frustration. He was basically only a T-9, but constant association with the Rowan had widened his area of perception. Ackerman appreciated this side effect of his position—when he was anywhere else but at the station.

  He had been trying to quit Callisto for more than five years, with no success. Federal Telepathers and Teleporters, Inc., had established a routine regarding his continuous applications for transfer. The first one handed in each quarter was ignored; the second brought an adroitly worded reply on how sensitive and crucial a position he held at Callisto Prime Station; his third—often a violently worded demand—always got him a special shipment of scotch and tobacco; his fourth—a piteous wail—brought the Section Supervisor out for a face-to-face chat and, only then, a few discreet words to the Rowan.

  Ackerman was positive she always knew the full story before the Supervisor finally approached her. It pleased her to be difficult, but the one time Ackerman discarded protocol and snarled back at her, she had mended her ways for a whole quarter. It had reluctantly dawned on Ackerman that she must like him and he had since used this knowledge to advantage. He had lasted eight years, as against five stationmasters in three months before his appointment.

  Each of the twenty-three station staff members had gone through a similar shuffling until the Rowan had accepted them. It took a very delicate balance of mental talent, personality, and intelligence to achieve the proper gestalt needed to move giant liners and tons of freight. Federal Tel and Tel had only five complete Primes—five T-1’s—each strategically placed in a station near the five major and most central stars to effect the best possible transmission of commerce and communications throughout the sprawling Nine-Star League. The lesser staff positions at each Prime Station were filled by personnel who could only teleport, or telepath. It was FT & T’s dream someday to provide instantaneous transmission of anything, anywhere, anytime. Until that day, FT & T exercised patient diplomacy with its five T-l’s, putting up with their vagaries like the doting owners of so many golden geese. If keeping the Rowan happy had meant changing the entire lesser personnel twice daily, it would probably have been done. As it happened, the present staff had been intact for over two years and only minor soothing had been necessary.

  Ackerman hoped that only minor soothing would be needed today. The Rowan had been peevish for a week, and he was beginning to smart under the backlash. So far no one knew why the Rowan was upset.

  Ready for the liner! Her thought lashed out so piercingly that Ackerman was sure everyone in the ship waiting outside had heard her. But he switched the intercom in to the ship’s captain.

  “I heard,” the captain said wryly. “Give me a five-count and then set us off.”

  Ackerman didn’t bother to relay the message to the Rowan. In her mood, she’d be hearing straight to Capella and back. The generator men were hopping between switches, bringing the booster field up to peak, while she impatiently revved up the launching units to push-off strength. She was well ahead of the standard timing, and the pent-up power seemed to keen through the station. The countdown came fast as the singing power note increased past endurable limits.

  ROWAN, NO TRICKS, Ackerman said.

  He caught her mental laugh, and barked a warning to the captain. He hoped the man had heard it, because the Rowan was on zero before he could finish and the ship was gone beyond radio transmission distance in seconds.

  The keening dynamos lost only a minute edge of sharpness before they sang at peak again. The lots on the launchers snapped out into space as fast as they could be set up. Then the loads rocketed into receiving area from other Prime Stations, and the ground crews hustled rerouting and hold orders. The power note settled to a bearable hum as the Rowan worked out her mood without losing the efficient and accurate thrust that made her FT & T’s best Prime.

  One of the ground crew signaled a frantic yellow across the board, then red as ten tons of cargo from Earth settled on the Priority Receiving cradle. The waybill said Deneb VIII, which was at the Rowan’s limit. But the shipment was marked “Rush/Emergency, priority medicine for a virulent plague on the colony planet.” And the way bill specified direct transmission.

  Well, where’re my coordinates and my placement photo? snapped the Rowan. I can’t thrust blind, you know, and we’ve always rerouted for Deneb VIII.

  Bill Powers was flipping through the indexed catalogue, but the Rowan reached out and grabbed the photo.

  Zowie! Do I have to land all that mass there myself?

  No, Lazybones, I’ll pick it up at 24.578.82—that nice little convenient black dwarf midway. You won’t have to strain a single convolution. The lazy masculine voice drawled in every mind.

  The silence was deafening.

  Well, I’ll be . . . came from the Rowan.

  Of course, you are, sweetheart—just push that nice little package out my way. Or is it too much for you? The lazy voice was solicitous rather than insulting.

  You’ll get your package! replied the Rowan, and the dynamos keened piercingly just once as the ten tons disappeared out of the cradle.

  Why, you little minx . . . slow it down or I’ll burn your ears back!

  Come out and catch it! The Rowan’s laugh broke off in a gasp of surprise and Ackerman could feel her slamming up her mental shields.

  I want that stuff in one piece, not smeared a millimeter thin on the surface, my dear, the voice said sternly. Okay, I’ve got it. Thanks! We need this.

  Hey, who the blazes are you? What’s your placement?

  Deneb Sender, my dear, and a busy little boy right now. Ta ta.

  The silence was broken only by the whine of the dynamos dying to an idle burr.

  Not a hint of what the Rowan was thinking came through now, but Ackerman could pick up the aura of incredulity, shock, speculation, and satisfaction that pervaded the thoughts of everyone else in the station. The Rowan had met her match. No one except a T-1 could have projected that far. There’d been no mention of another T-1 at FT & T, and, as far as Ackerman knew, FT & T had all of the five known T-1s. However, Deneb was now in its third generation and colonial peculiarities had produced the Rowan in two.

  “Hey, people,” Ackerman said, “sock up your shields. She’s not going to like your drift.”

  Dutifully the aura was dampened, but the grins did not fade and Powers started to whistle cheerfully.

  Another yellow flag came up from a ground man on the Altair hurdle and the waybill designated Live shipment to Betelgeuse. The dynamos whined noisily and then the launcher was empty. Whatever might be going through her mind at the moment, the Rowan was doing her work.

  All told, it was an odd day, and Ackerman didn’t know whether to be thankful or not. He had no precedents to go on and the Rowan wasn’t leaking any clues. She spun the day’s lot in and out with careless ease. By the time Jupiter’s bulk had moved around to blanket out-system traffic, Callisto’s day was over, and the Rowan wasn’t off-power as much as decibel one. Once the in-Sun traffic was finished with, Ackerman signed off for the day. The computer banks and dynamos were slapped off . . . but the Rowan did not come down.

  Ray Loftus and Afra, the Capellan T-4, came over to sit on the edge of Ackerman’s desk. They took out cigarettes. As usual, Afra’s yellow eyes began to water from the smoke.

  “I was going to ask her Highness to give me a lift home,” Loftus said, “but I dunno now. Got a date with—”

  He disappeared. A moment later, Ackerman could see him near a personnel carrier. Not only had he been set gently down, but various small necessities, among them a shaving kit, floated out of nowhere onto a neat pile in the carrier. Ray was given time to settle himself before the hatch sealed and he was whisked off.

  Powers joined Afra and Ackerman.

  “She’s sure in a funny mood,” he said.

  When the Rowan got peevish, few of the men at the station asked her to transport them to Earth. She was psychologically held planetbound, and resented the fact that lesser talents could be moved about through space without suffering traumatic shock.

  Anyone else?

  Adler and Toglia spoke up and promptly disappeared together. Ackerman and Powers exchanged looks which they hastily suppressed as the Rowan appeared before them, smiling. It was the first time that welcome and totally unexpected expression had crossed her face for two weeks.

  She smiled but said nothing. She took a drag of Ackerman’s cigarette and handed it back with a thank-you. For all her temperament, the Rowan acted with propriety face to face. She had grown up with her skill, carefully taught by the old and original T-1, Siglen, the Altairian. She’d had certain courtesies drilled into her: the less gifted could be alienated by inappropriate use of talent. She was perfectly justified in “reaching” things during business hours, but she employed the usual methods at other times.

  “The big boys mention our Denebian friend before?” she asked, all too casually.

  Ackerman shook his head. “Those planets are three generations colonized, and you came out of Altair in two.”

  “That could explain it, but there isn’t even an FT & T station. And you know they advertise continuously for anyone with Talent.”

  “He’s a wild talent?” Powers helpfully suggested.

  “Too far off the beaten track.” She shook her head. “I checked it. All I can get from Center is that they received an urgent call about a virus, were given a rundown on the syndrome and symptoms. Lab came up with a serum, batched and packed it. They were assured that there was someone capable of picking it up and taking it the rest of the way past 24.578.82 if a Prime would get it that far. And that’s all anybody knows.” Then she added thoughtfully, “Deneb VIII isn’t a very big colony.”

  Oh, we’re big enough, sweetheart, interrupted the drawling voice. Sorry to get you after hours, my dear, but I can’t seem to get in to Terra and I heard you coloring the atmosphere.

  What’s wrong? the Rowan asked. Did you smear your serum after all that proud talk?

  Smear it hell! I’ve been drinking it. We’ve got some ET visitors. They think they’re exterminators. Thirty UFO’s are perched four thousand miles above us. That batch of serum you wafted out to me this morning was for the sixth virus we’ve been socked with in the last two weeks. Soon as our boys whip up something to knock out one, another takes its place. It’s always worse than the one before. We’ve lost 25 percent of our population already and this last virus is a beaut. I want two top germdogs out here on the double and about three patrol squadrons. We’re flat on our backs now. I doubt our friends will hover around, dousing us with nasty bugs much longer. They’re going to start blowing holes in us any minute now. So sort of push the word along to Earth, will you, sweetheart? And get us some heavy support!

  I’ll relay, naturally. But why don’t you send direct?

  To whom? You’re the only one I can hear.

  Your isolation won’t last much longer if I know my bosses.

  You may know your bosses, but you don’t know me.

  That can always be arranged.

  This is no time for flirting. Get that message through for me like a good girl.

  Which message?

  The one I just gave you.

  That old one? They say you can have two germdogs in the morning as soon as we clear Jupiter. But Earth says no squadrons. No armed attack.

  You can double-talk too, huh? You’re talented. But the morning does us no good. Now is when we need them. Can’t you sling them . . . no, they might leave a few important atoms or something in Jupiter’s mass. But I’ve got to have some pretty potent help, and if six viruses don’t constitute armed attack, what does?

  Missiles constitute armed attack, the Rowan said primly.

  I’ll notify my friends up there. Missiles would be preferable. Them I can see. I need those germdogs now. Can’t you turn your sweet little mind to a solution?

  As you mentioned, it’s after hours.

  By the Horsehead, woman! the drawl was replaced by a cutting mental roar. My friends are dying!

  Look, after hours here means we’re behind Jupiter . . . But . . . Wait! How deep is your range?

  I don’t honestly know. And doubt crept into the bodiless voice in their minds.

  “Ackerman.” The Rowan turned to her stationmaster.